The Importance of Identity in Shaping Our Habits
We often group habits into good and bad. But the distinction isn’t always clear. Instead, we should think of habits as effective or ineffective and figure out which ones are going to help shape our identity into the person we want to become.
Where I live, there’s only one road out. It leads onto a motorway and nine times out of ten, that’s the route I take. But when it’s that tenth time, there’s a good chance I miss the turn I need because I’m on autopilot. This results in a bemused rhetorical question to myself, like, “where are you going?” Maybe this is familiar to you, too.
Welcome to habits.
The Harvard psychologist B. F. Skinner believed all human action directly resulted from conditioning. His experiments were famous for producing repeatable and predictable events. Skinner created the science of behaviorism, and it’s the foundation of our understanding of habits today.
We can break habits into a three-part loop - cue; routine; and reward. First, you sense an external cue - say, your morning alarm. This creates a spike in your brain activity as your brain decides which habit is appropriate for the situation.
Then comes the routine, meaning the activity you’re used to acting out when faced with this particular cue. You reach over to your bedside table and drink a glass of water with your brain pretty much on autopilot.
Finally, you get a reward - a feeling of success, and in this case, you feel hydrated and more alert.
Not all 'bad' habits are bad
We often group habits into good and bad. But that’s too simplistic, and the line isn’t always clear. Many consider chewing gum a bad habit. I do it all the time because chewing gum helps me focus when I’m working. I’ve since learned researchers found that chewing gum immediately before performing a cognitive task helps boost thinking and alertness.
There are other examples of supposed bad habits being good for us. Take daydreaming. Instead of a sign of laziness or procrastination, daydreaming has been shown to help problem solving, with your mind taking the time to address more important questions in your life.
It’s better to think of habits as effective or ineffective, and in the context of your own life. In this way, ‘bad’ habits like chewing gum and daydreaming may actually be effective ones.
We need to figure out which habits are going to help our life, and which are going to hinder. But it’s not always easy. Take the habits of the great twentieth-century writer, Franz Kafka.
The writing habits of Franz Kafka
It fascinated me to read about the daily routine of Kafka. Unlike most other prominent writers, Kafka held a full-time job working for an insurance company. When he was promoted to chief clerk, he moved to a one-shift system, working from 8:30am until 2:30pm.
After Kafka finished work at 2:30pm, he went for lunch until 3:30pm, then slept until 7:30pm. Then he’d exercise and have a family dinner (Kafka still lived with his parents). He’d only start writing at 11pm, but dedicated the first hour or two to his letters and diaries. And then he’d write, “depending on my strength, inclination, and luck, until one, two or three o’clock, once even until six in the morning” Then “every imaginable effort to go to sleep.” This routine left him permanently in a state of near collapse.
When his fiance Felice Bauer suggested there may be a better way, Kafka replied, “The present way is the only possible one; if I can’t bear it, so much the worse; but I will bear it somehow.” And he did.
It would be a stretch to say Kafka’s routine was in any way good. In fact, it was very much bad, destructive even; a recipe for burnout familiar to many today. But one could also say it was effective; Kafka produced great works on themes of alienation, guilt, absurdity, persecution, and existential anxiety, even, or perhaps because of, this insane regime.
Kafka being Kafka meant there was no happy ending, at least not immediately. He died unknown and told his friend Max Brod to destroy all his unfinished works (of which there were many). The world can thank Brod for not following his friend’s wishes, publishing his work and allowing millions to enjoy Kafka’s brilliant mind.
I don't endorse Kafka’s habits, but I do respect his devotion to his craft. Kafka considered writing “a form of prayer.” His identity was as a writer, nothing else. It was this belief that somehow sustained him.
But what about when habits are clearly ineffective or destructive? We need to re-direct the craving.
Re-direct, don’t resist the craving
Habits stick because they create craving. But that can also be a problem when trying to get rid of destructive habits. The most important rule for quitting any habit is: don’t try to resist the craving; re-direct it. Keep the same cues and rewards, but substitute something else for the routine.
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) have done this to impressive effect, helping provide new routines for people once they know exactly what they crave from drinking; often relaxation and companionship are more important than actual intoxication. AA provides new routines, such as going to meetings and talking to sponsors for companionship.
The importance of identity and belief
While this works well, research on AA members shows that alone, it’s not enough. As soon as a stressful event takes place, the old habit is simply too strong to resist.
Further research revealed that those who resisted relapse and stayed sober often relied on belief. That belief is strongly linked to their identity; who they are and what they are capable of, which makes them more resilient in the face of stressful life events.
The things we say about ourselves have a big impact on our self-esteem and self-confidence, and ultimately, who we are. The most effective way to change ineffective habits is to focus on what you want to become, not on what you want to achieve.
How you can use the power of habits for positive change
Here are four ways you can use habits to help you focus on what you want to become:
Create a Habits Scorecard. A simple exercise recommended by James Clear in Atomic Habits to become more aware of your behaviour. This helps you recognise all your habits and the cues that trigger them. You see which habits are effective - and which are ineffective - so you can focus on the former and reduce the latter. Create yours here.
Focus on systems over goals. Goals are about the results you want to achieve; systems are about the processes that lead to those results. Many people start to change their habits by focusing on what they want to achieve. This leads to outcome-based habits. Instead, build identity-based habits, enabling you to focus on who you want to become. Rather than “I want to lose 10kg” (outcome-based); try “I want to be fit and healthy” (identity-based).
Build keystone habits. These are small wins where one little positive change has the potential to produce other positive changes in all different parts of your routine. They signal you take this part of your life seriously. An example could be a keystone habit of reading fifteen minutes a day. It has the potential to change your identity, “I am a reader,” as well as improve your focus and attention. Keystone habits should be obvious, easy, attractive, and trackable.
Train your willpower muscle. Research has shown willpower to be a positive key habit in life. But some days it can feel almost impossible. Charles Duhigg in his book, The Power of Habit, compares willpower to a muscle: it can tire. But, by implication, it can also be strengthened. Do this by mentally preparing for low willpower situations and have a plan in place to overcome them. For example, telling yourself you’ll do what you need to do for two minutes only. Often, it’s getting started that’s the hardest part. Anyone can do 120 seconds of activity.
Habits are not about perfection. It’s impossible to have 100% perfect habits; we are human, after all. Recognising habits are less about good and bad, and more about effective and ineffective, helps us better identify those actions and behaviours that can help us become the person we want to be in our daily lives.
And I’m sticking with the chewing gum.