Issue 10 - Making Strides

Hello and welcome to my weekly email newsletter, Deep Life Reflections: Friday Five.

Each Friday, I share five things I’m enjoying, thinking about, and find interesting, which you might also find useful.

This is my tenth issue and a special thanks for all the positive comments and feedback so far. Thanks for being part of the journey! It’s a journey open to anyone, at any time, so if you have a friend, family member, or colleague who you think would also enjoy Deep Life Reflections, simply copy, paste and send them this subscription link:

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Now, on to this week’s Friday Five.

1. What I’m Reading

Finding Ultra by Rich Roll.

A very personal memoir chronicling Rich Roll’s transformation from an overweight, middle-aged lawyer to a world-class endurance athlete and wellness advocate. Roll also shares his struggles with alcoholism and his stop-start approach to sobriety. He is honest, humble, and self-reflective throughout. We follow his transformational journey as he pushes himself to exhaustion and beyond as an ultra-runner. His grueling story of taking on a world-record attempt aged 44 to complete five Ironman-distance triathlons in five days across the Hawaiian Islands is fantastic. I felt the pain in every word.

I’ve been listening to Rich’s excellent podcasts—The Rich Roll Podcast—for a couple of years. He’s one of my top five podcasters. One reason for this is his empathy. He genuinely connects with guests from various backgrounds, actively listening and engaging in open conversations. He’s naturally curious, has a knack for knowing which questions to ask, and paraphrases expertly.

Rich’s experiences with addiction, recovery, and personal transformation have given him a deep understanding of the challenges people face when trying to make significant life changes. And he doesn’t preach, he listens.

2. What I’m Watching

Ted Lasso on Apple TV.

I’m a bit late to the party on this one. The premise initially put me off: an American Football coach hired to manage a struggling English football team. It sounded terrible. But I kept hearing good things about the show, and saw it won a host of awards. So I tried it and just finished the first season. I’m glad I did. The character of Ted Lasso is writing gold.

Ted is unwaveringly optimistic, emotionally intelligent, and believes in people over results. He takes unorthodox approaches to getting the best out of his players, helping them see how unity and teamwork build trust, and how that can create great things. I think his ability to connect with others, together with his positivity and adaptability, resonated with audiences in the post-pandemic world as people asked themselves those bigger questions about their own lives and how they want to live them.

Ted is also a walking collection of puns, rhymes, stories, earnest advice, and dad jokes. But despite it being positioned as a light-hearted series, there’s a lot we can learn from Ted Lasso.

“Guys have underestimated me my entire life. And for years, I never understood why. It used to really bother me. But then one day, I was driving my little boy to school, and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman, and it was painted on the wall there. It said, 'Be curious, not judgmental.' I like that."

- Ted Lasso

3. What I’m Contemplating

I’ve been contemplating ‘active listening’ this week because it’s the module I’m working on as part of my International Coaching Federation coursework.

Active listening is when we really “tune in” when someone is speaking: listening to what is being said, what isn’t being said, how it’s being said, and what feelings or emotions may or may not be expressed. It’s an exceptional skill to master. Remaining silent when someone speaks and giving them your complete attention, repeating back to them what you heard in your own words so they feel understood. That’s the gift of active listening.

As Stephen Covey wrote in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, most people don’t listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. I think I’m quite a good listener, but there’s always room for improvement on that journey of personal growth.

4. A Quote to note

“The greatest gift you can give anyone is your undivided attention.”

Simone Weil, French philosopher

5. A Question for you

How have you practiced active listening to better understand someone else’s emotions or needs recently?

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And you can read all previous issues of Deep Life Reflections here.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

James