Issue 66 - Connection

Welcome to Issue 66 of Deep Life Reflections, where I share five things I’ve been enjoying and thinking about over the past week.

In this week’s issue, we explore the theme of personal identity through the memoir Can’t Hurt Me by former Navy SEAL David Goggins and the Oscar-winning film American Fiction. We also contemplate the importance of shaping our identities and resilience in line with our own values and experiences.

Join me as we explore this week’s Friday Five.

1. What I’m Reading

Can’t Hurt Me. By David Goggins. (Audiobook)

“Our culture has become hooked on the quick-fix, the life hack.” – David Goggins

David Goggins is the only person in U.S. military history to have completed training as a Navy SEAL, Army Ranger, and Air Force Tactical Controller. He’s also an elite endurance athlete, having competed in more than 60 ultra-marathons, triathlons, and ultra-triathlons, winning several and setting new course records. He once held the world record for the most pull-ups in 24 hours (4,030), and, after retiring from the military, became a wildland firefighter.

Yet, this physically and mentally inspirational journey belies Goggins’ childhood—one filled with poverty, prejudice, and physical abuse, followed by a diagnosis of a congenital heart defect in adulthood. In his 2018 memoir, Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds, Goggins lays bare his life story, revealing his transformation from a depressed and overweight man with no future into ‘The Fittest (Real) Man in America,’ as named by Outside magazine.

The audiobook, narrated by Goggins himself, is part memoir and part interview, allowing him to reflect on his journey in his own candid style. His single-minded focus and self-reliance are evident throughout: “No one is coming to help you. No one’s coming to save you.” After such a transformation, Goggins remains unapologetically focused on continued improvement and self-mastery through an almost supernatural work ethic.

While most readers are unlikely to feel the need to replicate Goggins’ extreme feats of endurance, they can adopt some of his philosophy. He speaks about the ‘40% Rule,’ a belief that everyone has an extra 60% within themselves beyond their perceived limits. This is a mindset Navy SEALS use to push through physical and mental pain when they think they have reached their limit. The idea is that when your mind tells you that you are done, you are only at about 40 percent of your actual capacity. Goggins believes we are all capable of attaining this toughness with the right mindset and approach–in any field in our lives.  

David Goggins remains an inspiring figure to many—a walking, talking embodiment of iron will and fortitude, molded from unlikely beginnings. An antithesis to the ‘quick fix’ mentality so prevalent in our culture today.   

2. What I’m Watching

American Fiction. Directed by Cord Jefferson.

“Potential is what people see when they think what’s in front of them isn’t good enough.” – Sintara Golden, American Fiction

American Fiction, directed by Cord Jefferson and starring Jeffrey Wright, won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay at this year’s awards. It was also nominated in four other categories, including Best Film and Best Actor. The film is a brilliant satire about race, exploitation, family, and identity.

Wright stars as Thelonious ‘Monk’ Ellison, a Black professor of English whose high-brow retellings of Greek classics are critically respected but don’t sell. Disillusioned and angry with what he perceives as stereotype-driven and poorly written manuscripts meant to satisfy the racist appetite of the white publishing industry, he writes such a book as an experiment. Thus, ‘My Pafology’ is born under the pseudonym ‘Stagg R. Leigh.’ The book naturally becomes a bestseller, much to Monk’s incredulity. This situation provides many of the film’s best comedic moments, especially when Wright has to adopt the persona of his ghetto and on-the-run creation.

American Fiction makes important points about the literary and publishing world. Based on the novel Erasure by Percival Everett, the film underlines repeatedly that publishing is predominantly a white industry. But it is much broader in scope, avoiding simplistic generalisations. The heart of the film is about human connection, specifically letting others in. Monk, the lonely genius, is angry and frustrated, a literary snob with his own biases and prejudices. Having long neglected his familial duties, he’s forced to confront them after a tragedy. In the complex scenes with his disjointed family, Monk learns about connection and what truly matters.

By showing Monk’s life and struggles outside his literary pursuits, we gain a deeper understanding of him and his family, each facing their own demons. The film avoids easy clichés and virtue signaling. It’s complex storytelling about Black characters that avoids a big moral ending. The film is about connection in all its complexity. As we watch Monk give a small nod to a stranger at the end of the film, someone simply trying to get somewhere in life, we see a man who is finally open to letting others in.

It’s no longer fiction.

3. What I’m Contemplating

Satire and memoir can both effectively explore concepts of personal identity and resilience, albeit from different perspectives. Can’t Hurt Me and American Fiction each deal with these themes in the face of pressures from society, providing unique insights through their respective lenses.

David Goggins’ journey is one of overcoming multiple adversities, including poverty and obesity, to find his true self. In building an iron-clad mindset, Goggins embodies resilience and personal transformation. His memoir serves as a powerful testament to our innate capacity for endurance and growth.

In American Fiction, Thelonious ‘Monk’ Ellison is a character study of a man who isolates himself to preserve his identity, leading to anger, frustration, and sadness. Monk’s journey highlights the importance of connection in his identity quest. It takes his family and those around him to help him see the importance of connection—and to make him aware of his own prejudices. By the end of the film, Monk is not a fully transformed man, but one who has taken crucial steps toward self-awareness.

Both works remind us of our own journeys in molding and shaping our personal identities and resilience in line with our values and experiences. They inspire us to pursue our true selves despite the pressures and challenges from the external world. Goggins’ memoir encourages us to push beyond our perceived limits, while American Fiction emphasises the value of connection and self-awareness in personal growth.

4. A Quote to note

“Not being able to relate to people isn’t a badge of honour.”

- Coraline speaking to Monk in American Fiction

5. A Question for you

How has overcoming personal challenges strengthened your ability to connect with others?

Thanks for reading and being part of the Deep Life Journey community. If you have any reflections on this issue, please leave a comment. Have a great weekend.

James

Sharing and Helpful Links

Want to share this issue of Deep Life Reflections via text, social media, or email? Just copy and paste this link:

https://www.deeplifejourney.com/deep-life-reflections/june-21-2024

And if you have a friend, family member, or colleague who you think would also enjoy Deep Life Reflections, simply copy, paste and send them this subscription link:

https://www.deeplifejourney.com/subscribe

Don’t forget to check out my website, Deep Life Journey, for full content on my Pillars, Perspectives & Photography. And you can read all previous issues of Deep Life Reflections here.