Deep Life Reflections: Friday Five
Issue 51 - Community
Welcome to Issue 51 of Deep Life Reflections, where I share five things I’ve been enjoying and thinking about over the past week.
In this week’s issue we’re examining the decline of face-to-face social interactions as explored in Derek Thompson’s excellent article, ‘Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out’, revisit the Old West with David Milch’s critically acclaimed television series, Deadwood, and reflect on our individual contributions to building and shaping our communities.
Join me as we explore this week’s Friday Five.
1. What I’m Reading
Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out. Article by Derek Thompson in The Atlantic.
Derek Thompson is an American author and journalist who writes about technology, culture, and politics. I regularly listen to his excellent podcast, Plain English, where he’s highly skilled in distilling big ideas. His latest article in The Atlantic, ‘Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out’, highlights the decline in American sociability. While the geographic focus of Thompson’s article is the United States, this decline in sociability is also happening in other countries.
Drawing on the latest research, Thompson highlights Americans aren’t getting together face-to-face as much as they did twenty years ago. During the period from 2003 to 2022, men reduced their socialising by about 30 percent. For unmarried Americans, the decline was even bigger (at 35 percent). For teens, it was more than 45 percent. Boys and girls aged 15 to 19 are spending three hours less each week with friends. It’s across the board—men and women, all ages, all ethnicities, and all levels of income and education are getting together less in person.
Thompson boils it down to three root causes:
People are spending more time on their screens.
People are more busy than they’ve ever been.
Places that used to bring people together—like churches, community centres, and sports leagues—are becoming less relevant.
It’s this last point that got me thinking. Each successive generation is attending less community-based activities than their parents. Thompson calls it a “ritual recession.” Fewer community activities lead to weaker ties and less support networks, since these are traditionally where strong bonds and friendships are formed. Even the office—another traditional community-based institution—is being eroded by remote and hybrid working. Instead, we’re tuning into our devices more, exacerbating our isolation. This has a psychological impact, including rising rates of depression and anxiety, particularly among younger people.
If we are to address these issues, a driving force will be returning to what makes us feel part of something bigger. This is unlikely to be found behind a screen. Instead, it will require renewed face-to-face connection with the community and those around us.
If you’re interested in reading the full article, you can read it here (note that The Atlantic offers five free stories a month) while Derek talks about this topic more with Sociologist Eric Klinenberg here.
2. What I’m Watching
Deadwood. Television show created by David Milch.
Deadwood is a television show created by David Milch, which is considered part of HBO’s ‘Holy Trinity’ of golden television during the 2000s (sitting alongside The Sopranos and The Wire, both of which I’ve written about before). Deadwood is a Western, set in the 1870s in the town of Deadwood, South Dakota, before and after the area’s annexation by the Dakota Territory. The three-season show is the story of Deadwood’s growth from a camp to a town. It depicts a reversal of the issues Derek Thompson highlights in his article above. Deadwood, at its core, is about the birth of a community from its chaotic origins, not the erosion.
And chaotic it is. In the opening season, we’re introduced to several colourful characters, which include fictionalised versions of real historical figures such as legendary soldier, gunslinger, and gambler, Wild Bill Hickok, frontierswoman and storyteller, Martha Jane Canary, better known as Calamity Jane, and Seth Bullock, who becomes Deadwood’s first sheriff. There is also the cunning and powerful Al Swearengen, owner of the Gem Saloon and the powerbroker behind everything, brilliantly played by Ian McShane. The show won a lot of acclaim for its writing, stunning sets, historical authenticity, and morally complex characters. It’s also raw and brutal at times.
The Western isn’t my favourite genre, and it took me about four or five episodes to really get into Deadwood and the characters. But once invested, I loved it. Deadwood offers a gritty, unromanticised portrayal of the American West and the realities of frontier life. It explores big themes, like the nature of civilisation versus lawlessness, community building in the absence of formal law, and the pursuit of wealth and power amidst the gold rush.
One episode titled ‘A Lie Agreed Upon’ speaks to the governing philosophy of the show. Many people attribute that phrase to Napoleon, alluding to the knowledge that history is a lie agreed upon—recognising that future generations do not wish to know the bloody, debased, and selfish nature of most major decisions. As a result, they construct a more pleasing and acceptable fiction. So, even though Deadwood built a community out of chaos, the motives and actions were often far from pure and selfless—and often remained hidden.
This makes Deadwood revered some twenty years after it began—the recognition of moral complexity in community-building and its pervasive nature throughout history.
3. What I’m Contemplating
Yesterday, I did my first speaking engagement since my heart surgery. I spoke with students and faculty staff at the American University of Dubai. I really enjoyed the talk, and it seemed to resonate strongly with the students, as I received a lot of positive feedback. My talk was called, ‘Ten Timeless Lessons for a Life Well-Lived’ and #10 was ‘Contribute to something larger than yourself.’
This lesson built upon the theme of community, where helping and serving others is one of the most meaningful things we can do as human beings. We can volunteer for things, get involved in community groups in which we have a genuine interest, or even just offer our time and support to someone in need. The French philosopher Simone Weil said, “The greatest gift you can give anyone is your undivided attention.” And indeed, this is also intrinsic motivation—doing something for its inherent satisfaction, rather than some external reward or validation.
I enjoyed playing my small role in the community yesterday.
For those of you on Instagram, stay tuned as I’ll be posting more of my talk under my ‘Stories’ at @deeplifejourney
4. A Quote to note
“It is not more bigness that should be our goal. We must attempt, rather, to bring people back to...the warmth of community, to the worth of individual effort and responsibility...and of individuals working together as a community, to better their lives and their children’s future.”
- Robert Kennedy
5. A Question for you
How might your unique skills and talents contribute to the greater good of the community you live in?
Thanks for reading and being part of the Deep Life Journey community. Have a great weekend.
James
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