Issue 13 - Memory Gospel

Hello and welcome to my weekly email newsletter, Deep Life Reflections: Friday Five.

Each Friday, I share five things I’m enjoying, thinking about, and find interesting, which you might also find useful.

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Here’s this week’s Friday Five.

1. What I’m Reading

Notes from Underground (1864). Written by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

Notes from Underground is considered by many the world’s first existential novel. (Existentialism is the philosophy asserting that individuals create the meaning and essence of their lives, as opposed to deities or authorities creating it for them.) We are introduced to its anonymous author, the ‘Underground Man’. This character, a conflicted, spiteful figure, gradually withdraws to an existence ‘underground’ as he rejects societal norms in favour of his own contradictory thoughts.

Dostoyevsky’s tumultuous life inspired some of the novel’s themes. He was plagued by personal loss, imprisonment, exile, addiction, and tragedy. His novel is seminal, as it foreshadows the problems to come in the twentieth century involving reason and irrationality; freedom and self-will; human dignity and degradation.

Also central to the narrative are the themes of consciousness and memory, both instrumental in shaping identities. The Underground Man recollects humiliating incidents from his past. His memories are filled with regret, resentment, and bitterness, and they shape his behavior and perceptions. It suggests our consciousness is significantly influenced by our memories.

Notes from Underground stands as a confession from a disturbed personality, grappling with the shackles of memory and consciousness.

“I invented adventures for myself and made up a life, so as at least to live in some way.”

‘The Underground Man’, Notes from Underground

2. What I’m Watching

Solaris. Directed by Andrei Tarkovsky.

I first heard about Solaris four years ago watching a documentary film called Bitter Lake made by Adam Curtis (more on him in future issues). Solaris, made by the acclaimed Russian director, Andrei Tarkovsky, is considered one of the great science-fiction films, standing shoulder-to-shoulder alongside giants like Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey.

2001, one of my favourite films, has an outward focus, exploring humanity’s expansion into the universe. In contrast, Tarkovsky’s Solaris focuses inward, probing into the nature and reality of the human personality. We follow the character of Kris Kelvin, a psychologist sent to a space station orbiting the distant planet of Solaris. Once built to hold over 80 people, the station now houses only three inhabitants plagued by hallucinations. As he evaluates the situation, he encounters the same mysterious phenomena as the others. He discovers the planet Solaris is, in fact, conscious, able to bring out suppressed memories from those onboard the station.

This ingenious concept, inspired by the 1961 novel by Polish author Stanislaw Lem, asks us to explore consciousness from various angles. How accurate are our memories? How much of our consciousness is rooted in our past experiences? Solaris brings into focus the blurred lines between reality and illusion, prompting us to question our fundamental beliefs about existence and our own memories. It has a brilliant ending too.

An interesting footnote: early in the film, in one very long take (a Tarkovsky trademark), we watch a car journeying through a city that is meant to be Soviet, but all signs are in Japanese. Tarkovsky shot this scene in Osaka, Japan, because of the challenges of filming in the Soviet Union during the 1970s.

3. What I’m Contemplating

Solaris was playing in my head for days after viewing. It got me thinking about a concept introduced by the psychologist, Daniel Kahneman: the ‘experiencing self’ and the ‘remembering self’.

The 'experiencing self' is the version of us that exists in the present moment. It's who we are when we are absorbed in the here and now, like you reading this sentence right now.

In contrast, the 'remembering self' is the storyteller of our consciousness. This self is responsible for creating the narrative of our life, stringing together memories, emotions, and experiences. It's who we are when we recall and interpret past events.

Kahneman distinguished between these two selves, and the role each play in shaping our perception, actions, and memories. The experiencing self lives the moments, while the remembering self decides which moments are worth holding onto. And sometimes there is a discrepancy between the two. Kahneman believed our preferences and decisions are shaped by memories, which can, in themselves, be fallible.

“Odd as it may seem, I am my remembering self, and the experiencing self, who does my living, is like a stranger to me.”

Daniel Kahneman, Thinking Fast and Slow

As we journey towards better understanding our consciousness, it’s worth bearing in mind these two ‘selves’ and the impact on our recollections. If you’d like to delve into this topic more, here’s a TED Talk by Kahneman from 2010.

4. A Quote to note

“It's surprising how much memory is built around things unnoticed at the time.”

Barbara Kingsolver, novelist

5. A Question for you

Encountering the unknown can often lead to growth and a broader perspective. Can you recall a time when an unexpected or unfamiliar situation reshaped your understanding of yourself, ultimately contributing to your personal growth?

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Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

James