Deep Life Reflections: Friday Five
Issue 33 - Two Lives
Hello and welcome to my weekly email newsletter, Deep Life Reflections: Friday Five, where I share five things I’m enjoying, thinking about, and find interesting. I hope you enjoy issue 33 and feel free to share your own reflections.
Here’s my Friday Five this week.
1. What I’m Reading
The Death of Ivan Ilyich. By Leo Tolstoy.
The Death of Ivan Ilyich is a novella written in 1886 by the great Russian writer Leo Tolstoy. It’s considered a masterpiece. Tolstoy confronts the question that haunts every human: the meaning of life in the face of death.
Ivan Ilyich, a high-ranking official in the Russian Court of Justice, leads a life marked by high status—the right acquaintances, a distinguished wife, and the trappings of wealth. But as Tolstoy takes us through Ivan’s life, from his education, to career accomplishments, to personal ambitions, we're confronted with Ivan's slow and excruciating descent into death, which traces the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance.
The Death of Ivan Ilyich is about the realisation of someone facing the hollowness of their societal-driven existence. Tolstoy paints two types of existence: the superficial life, exemplified by Ivan and his societal peers; and the genuine life, embodied by Gerasim, Ivan’s compassionate young servant. While the superficial life is dominated by shallowness, vanity, and materialism, leaving Ivan terrified as he faces the reality of death alone, the genuine life celebrates the richness of human connection, offering introspection, empathy, and a peaceful acceptance of the inevitable.
Tolstoy captures this tension between the two lives in Ivan’s reflection: “‘Maybe I did not live as I ought to have done,’ it suddenly occurred to him. ‘But how could that be, when I did everything properly?’” This dismissal of the idea that his superficial life could somehow be a wrong choice speaks to his ongoing denial to confront what really matters in life.
Yet, in his final moments, Ivan has a realisation through Gerasim, who lessens Ivan’s pain by sharing in it, demonstrating compassion, a virtue lacking in Ivan’s life.
Tolstoy's narrative, written nearly 150 years ago, resonates even today. The great writer challenges us to reflect on the genuineness of our own lives and the true essence of a life well-lived. We can consider this question: do we live our lives the way we do because it’s expected of us or because it’s what we want for ourselves? Ivan finds his own answer in his final breaths.
2. What I’m Watching
An Interview with Christopher Hitchens, Author & Journalist. Newsnight Archives.
Christopher Hitchens was a British author and journalist. A brilliant speaker, debater, and thinker, with no lack of wit and charisma, Hitchens wrote 18 books on faith, culture, politics, and literature. He died of esophageal cancer in 2011. A year earlier, he gave an interview to Jeremy Paxman, a seasoned journalist and broadcaster. It was filmed as he was dying of cancer.
Hitchens’ intelligence and eloquence shine in the 30-minute interview. His reflections on his condition are especially resonant. Given this week’s theme, I’ve highlighted some of his most insightful responses:
Paxman: “Does it [cancer] make you angry?”
Hitchens: “No. It makes me sober, objective. I think well, this is the best known of our disease enemies. I’m one of its many, many victims. I’m one of the lucky ones in being able to have treatment and care. I’d like to prove to other people that it’s not the end of everything to be diagnosed with it.”
Paxman: “What does [cancer] do to the way you think about life?”
Hitchens “Well, it concentrates the mind. There are places I’d like to go, people I’d like to meet, books I’d like to read, or re-read. But in a sense, that would always be true.”
Paxman “Do you fear death?” (Considering Hitchens’ atheism)
Hitchens “No, I’m not afraid of being dead. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I won’t know I’m dead. That’s my strong conviction. And if I find myself alive in any way, well, that would be a nice surprise and I quite like nice surprises.”
Paxman: “Do you think it’s been a life well-lived?”
Hitchens: “I really have to leave that to others [to say]. I will say this much, I’ve been encouraged in recent months by some extraordinarily generous letters from people…people I’ve never met or don’t know…and if they say that what I’ve written or said means anything to them, then I’m happy to take it at face value. And yes, it cheers me up. And in case you’re watching this and if you ever wonder whether to write to anyone, always do. Because you’d be surprised by how much difference it can make.”
I encourage you to take half an hour this weekend to watch the full interview here.
While you may not always agree with Hitchens’ views—and I suspect he wouldn’t want that anyway—he undoubtedly lived life on his own terms, and our world is a richer place for it.
3. What I’m Contemplating
Stoicism, a philosophical school that thrived in Ancient Greece and Rome, proposes that the pursuit of virtue alone is enough for a well-lived and flourishing life. In researching this week’s newsletter, I came across three Stoic sentiments that could offer us some perspective on life and our approach to its eventual end: death.
“Your opinions are your problem.” - Epictetus. Offence, much like a dance, requires two participants. When faced with a potential affront, we always have a choice: to take offence or to let it slide. We don’t have to take things personally. There’s freedom in moving forward without the weight of every slight or disagreement.
“Most things are not in your control.” The world unfolds in ways we can’t anticipate. While most circumstances remain beyond our grasp, we can control how we react to them. How we choose to respond—be it with grace and patience or with frustration and anger—can tell us a lot about our maturity and responsibility.
“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” - Marcus Aurelius. This contemplation from one of Rome’s celebrated ‘Five Good Emperors’ reminds us of life's fleeting nature. With a finite amount of time on earth, let the inevitability of death guide your actions, words, and thoughts, making sure they mirror your truest intentions and values.
If there are any philosophies or guiding tenets that have helped shape you, please share them.
4. A Quote to note
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.”
- Alice Walker, Author of the Pulitzer Prize for her novel The Colour Purple.
5. A Question for you
Recognising the impermanence of life, is there someone you’ve thought about contacting or expressing gratitude towards, which might make a difference in their life or yours?
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Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.
James